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Sunday, August 15, 2010


Here is the definition from Webster online for Defensive;

a. 1. Serving to defend or protect; proper for defense; opposed to offensive; as, defensive armor.
A moat defensive to a house.
- Shak.
2. Carried on by resisting attack or aggression; - opposed to offensive; as, defensive war.
3. In a state or posture of defense.
n. 1. That which defends; a safeguard.
Wars preventive, upon just fears, are true defensives.
- Bacon.
To be on the defensive
to be or stand in a state or posture of defense or resistance, in opposition to aggression or attack.

So exactly when did this become a negative word? When did defending what one thinks is right become a bad thing?

When I was a teenager I had the typical "think I know everything" attitude, I would defend positions vigilantly. However, as I've gotten older and less black and white in my thinking, adding more areas of gray, I STILL am the kind of person that will defend against unwarranted attacks not only against myself, but those I love as well.

There are certain situations, certain places, such as the workplace, where I virtually become a doormat. I don't defend at all, I just go with what is expected of me, what they tell me.

Recently in a forum for our raiding group in WoW someone said that a thread was turning into the "typical defensive thread" basically saying that about me. I am very active in our forums, etc., however when someone is attacking our guild, our raiding group, our leadership, who not only do I respect in game, but in this particular raiding group, consider all the officers (there are 4 of us plus an adviser) to be real life friends. The only one I don't know in real life I have spent hours talking to online about real life and we have a ton in common.

My father also likes to blow off anything I say as being "defensive."

Again, I ask when did defending what one believes is right, or defending against offensive attacks and aggression become a bad thing? And since when does being "defensive" mean that what you say has no value; that what you say can be blown off as "just being defensive" rather than actually listening to the words you say.

Defending ourselves, our friends & loved ones, what we believe in, protecting what is right, protecting those that are innocent, and aren't there to defend themselves should be an act of nobility and should be revered by people ...

I've decided that people "blow me off" as just being "defensive" when they don't have a defensible position themselves ... people use it as a way to stop an argument sometimes, but it does seem whenever I make a very valid point and make it clear that I'm not backing down from that point, that is when I most hear people say, "oh, you're just being defensive."

I guess to them, I'm supposed to just sit back and take whatever they can dish out, and not stand up for myself or those I care about.

Yeah, that makes sense ...
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