Saturday, August 28, 2010
Ironic, don't you think?
So, when my father sat me at a table in a restaurant and told me that the reason that I could no longer live in the house that he bought for me and my children to live in, to have stability ... was because it was "hurting our relationship" .... I don't think he really thought that through ... because here's the thing ... as my daughter stood in the driveway of said house for the last time today, and looked at her friend, her sister and me and said, "I hate grandpa. I hate that he made us move out of this house. I hate that he made us change schools. I hate him, hate him, hate him." (she had said things like this months ago, but I thought she had worked through some of it) ... anyway, as this was happening and as I'm watching the reaction of her friend, and realizing that it saddens me that my child is hurting, that my child is actually capable of hate, but I also empathize with her, sympathize with her ... the ironic thing is ... making us move probably hurt his relationship with his grandchildren, and with me, more than anything that came up while we were living there ever did or would. He permanently scarred his relationship with both his granddaughters ... my children will be stronger for it ... and maybe losing trust in someone just because they're defined as "family" is a good lesson to learn, I just hate that they learned it so young ... also, I guess I need to say, that I don't encourage this feeling of hate, I tell her I understand how she's feeling, and that it's okay to express that ... they don't understand why, anymore than I do ... but they do know who made the decision, it's hard to hide that, when they know who bought the house in the first place ...
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2 comments:
Very sad, indeed.
Regardless of how it feels right now, for either your kids, you, or your dad, I hope this all passes eventually.
What he did to you was bad enough, but I could rationalize it by putting it in the context of some sort of twisted version (in his own head) of "tough love". It's not the way I would parent, but hey, I'm not the parent here. But what he did to your children, who were completely innocent bystanders in this drama, by anyone's version of the details, that was truly unforgivable. It wasn't until he did this that I really lost any last little feeling of friendship I might have felt toward him. But it's gone now, completely. Anybody who could do that to his own child and especially his grandkids, well, I don't know him from a bar of soap anymore, and I guess the sad thing is that I never did.
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