Dancing ... Archived from 09/09/2009

So, a while back, someone posted one of those stickers on my bumper sticker board that says "life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." In the last few weeks, the very deep meaning of that has come to light for me.

Life will let you down, people will let you down, things will happen that you never dreamed would. You will find out that people you thought you knew aren't the people you thought they were, or maybe even your instincts and bad feelings about people or situations were right, and things you hoped weren't true, will turn out to be true. You will lose your car keys, your kids will do things like color on the couch ... random people will try to make you feel bad, to feel sad, to make you cry ... because apparently nobody ever taught them the basics of the golden rule and respect ... there are times in life you will feel used, you will feel like a doormat ... there are times in life you will feel like a failure ... that you will feel that you are not worthy of love or friendship ... there will be times you need  a hug and nobody will be there to give you one ... there will be times when all you need is to hear a friendly voice .... and nobody answers their phone ...

You will have times where you feel like it is too much ... where when it rains, it pours, the roof leaks, you don't have the money to fix the roof, so everything special to you is ruined by the rain ...

The thing is ... all of these things only have as much power as you let them have ... and none of them need to affect who you are ... how you are ... you must learn to dance in the rain ... not sit and mope and hope it goes away ... some of us choose to stay in our own personal thunderstorms completely conscious of the fact that we are doing it ... some may think that's crazy ... but we all have our reasons ... I have been much happier in the last few weeks than I have been in a long time ... because I've been trying to appreciate what I have ... not what I wish I had ... and accept things as they are ... last night I let people get to me ... over something that should never affect me in that way ... I let myself cry... let myself be hurt ... and today ... I am learning to dance again ... I can only be the best me I can be ... I cannot control other people or the way they hurt or betray me ... in the end I am very aware that if they don't want to hold their spots in my life ...if I decide they're toxic and walk away ... it is their loss ... not mine .... most of them will never even realize what they lost ... they could have chosen to smile with me, to laugh with me, to dance with me ... but they chose not to ... that is out of my hands ... out of my control ... all I can do is keep on dancing ... and fill my life with people who are willing to dance with me ....