Bullies Can Be Any Age ....

You know since Columbine we have been a bully-centric society when it comes to schools ... every school my kids have ever attended has had major bully education and awareness programs ... the one time I had to deal with a bully issue with one of my kids it was handled very, very well ... we focus so much on bullies at that age ... but what about as we get older?

Bullying continues in multiple ways ... one of the main ways at this point is cyber-bullying ... with facebook, myspace, twitter, email ... they say people will say things they won't normally say ... I don't know if that is always true .. most of the "argumentative" stuff that I have written I would say ... a lot of it I wouldn't have had the chance to say all of, and doing it in writing allows me to be more articulate and do it without interruption, but really ... for me that's not true ... the keyboard bravery or whatever they call it ... maybe it is for others though ....

My friends can tell tale upon tale of workplace bullying, grocery store bullying, gaming bullying ... people who are arrogant and not empathetic and unable to apparently distinguish right from wrong ....

For the first time a few weeks ago I had to delete someone I considered an actual friend from my Facebook ... because she was being a bully, to the point that other friends were responding to her ... to the point that I received private messages from people that knew both of us and some that didn't saying how out of line she was ... I had to delete two other people before ... but one of them I met through a game and the other was a girlfriend of a friend and they broke up and she was nasty ... so up until then I had deleted two other people ... neither of which were big "losses" ...

But ... this one was different ... literally someone I had known my whole life, I had always been closer to her sister, but still ... known my whole life ... she played a role in my wedding ... but there she was being outright mean and bullying on my Facebook page ...

I wish I could have given her the benefit of the doubt of naivety, but I knew better, and later was proven right by someone that shared her reaction to my un-friending her ... her gratefulness that I had because she had "called me out" ... she didn't call me out ... she was just a bully ... basically I had said I was excited about having some time when I could have a real life ... it wasn't a depressing post ... in fact I think my original post just said "2 days and counting ... " someone asked
me why ... I responded that in 2 days I would get to go visit my boyfriend and have some semblance of the normal life I had before ... it was a positive, upbeat, happy about life post ... and she says "Ya know you could have a life everyday....secret is get your own place! Just a thought!." ... well no shit ... anyone that reads my blog on a regular basis knows that is exactly what I am trying to do ... that also wasn't the first passive aggressive comment she had made, that was just the last one I let her make ... if it had been the first I might have brushed it off as naivety, as just not paying attention ... but it wasn't ...

Anyone that thinks I'm not trying everything in my power to get out of this house and be in a place where life can be normal again is absolutely nuts ... and anyone that can be that cold about it lacks total and complete empathy ...

Life is too short to be that mean ... to be mean spirited just ruins your own life, and actually effects you more than it does the people you are being mean to ... I have learned over time to let these people go more quickly than I would in the past ... in the past I would just continue to be nice to them and hope that I could somehow change them, but as I get older, whether right or wrong, I have learned that mean spirited, bullies usually don't change ...  

It sucks to have to lose a friend that you've had for 30 years because they decided to bully you and be mean ... and hurtful ... it does ... even if you rarely did talk to them ... those are the friends that are supposed to stand by you during times like this ... be the ones that know where you've been ... and have faith in where you're going ... I have people that have been mere acquaintances that have shown more compassion and empathy ... or maybe nothing at all ... but how does it go "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" ... apparently some people miss that lesson growing up ... and I feel bad for them, honestly I do ....

I pride myself on empathy being one of my greatest characteristics, my ability to give those that most judge the benefit of the doubt ... sometimes that makes me a doormat ... I understand that ... but I'd rather be a doormat ... than a bully ...