I Love Spring ...

I went outside today to go pick my kids up from school ... I had no idea how gorgeous it was outside .... you know being in a basement with an underground window and all ;)

It feels like spring ...

Being Colorado and all I'm sure that we're still in for some cold days ... and I don't mind that too much, but my favorite seasons here in Colorado are spring and fall ... I think a lot of people have a misguided idea about Colorado; thinking it's always cold here ... it's not ... it gets ridiculously hot in the summer and ridiculously cold in the winter ... but being a mountain girl I would have to say that I definitely prefer being cold to being hot ... you can always put on more clothes, and start fires, and turn up the heat (if that's an option) ... but being too hot ... well you can't go further than naked, you can get in the water (if there's water around), and there is air conditioning, but that is a huge energy consumption

Here we go again ...

So I haven't mentioned it much before, but my daughter has an eosinophilic disorder ... typically this is classified as an upper GI disorder called Eosinophilic Esophagitis or EE ... she has been lucky (at least so far) in that hers has been considered an EGID (Eosinophilic Gastrointestinal Disorder) affecting her large and small intestine but luckily not affecting her esophagus .... the reason the esophageal kind is worse is that the esophagus is actually much thinner and fragile than the lower GI ... the disorder can lead to lesions and even tears in the esophagus ... which leaves kids on feeding tubes in order to save the esophagus ....

Well, my daughter had a well-child visit yesterday and she has had some issues lately .... she complains of chest pain

A new leaf ... a new page ... a new well, everything ...

I had some much needed time with my man both with and without my kids not so long ago ... we got a lot done ... we didn't do quite as much just snuggling and relaxing and talking as I would have liked, but when we get so little time together and things need to be done, sometimes it just works out that way I guess ... but it gave me a lot of hope ....

We got a lot done to make my living situation a little better for myself and my kids ... and since then I have done a little more ... I've put up pictures on the concrete walls ... pictures of fun times and good friends ... to remind me that this is not a prison cell ... I am grateful for all he and I were able to do, and for the ability to do the things I have done since ....

I feel like I have actually walked away from some people that have been horribly mean, even though they preach about not being mean themselves, I find myself not caring .... there was a time I would have obsessed ... but I find myself thinking they're not worth it ... let them continue to make their digs on me, in a public fashion even, all they're doing is making themselves look like fools and probably looking at ruining other friendships in the process ... and I realize in that, that my obsession over their bad behavior ... just isn't worth it ... and I let the baggage go ...

There are still some toxic people that I must deal with, but I think I have a better handle on that now too ...

While my honey and I were spending some wonderful quality time together ... my mom was off on a vacation of her own ... and somehow from that experience we have bonded more ... I feel more like the mother and daughter we used to be ... we still will have "roommate" issues ... and we have the major issue to work through of her showing much more respect to my relationship ... and other issues about undermining parenting, etc., .... but overall our relationship feels more like it used to ... we talked and laughed and many other things ... even gossiped a little ... she, I know, feels very upset and betrayed by some things a "friend" said lately as well, and the way they have been acting ... so it was like these other people with their drama helped us overcome our own ... on top of that a break from each other, and the ability for my honey and I to spend time completely alone together I think was a stress reliever to some extent, although not when it came to all stress, but I think the

Bullies Can Be Any Age ....

You know since Columbine we have been a bully-centric society when it comes to schools ... every school my kids have ever attended has had major bully education and awareness programs ... the one time I had to deal with a bully issue with one of my kids it was handled very, very well ... we focus so much on bullies at that age ... but what about as we get older?

Bullying continues in multiple ways ... one of the main ways at this point is cyber-bullying ... with facebook, myspace, twitter, email ... they say people will say things they won't normally say ... I don't know if that is always true .. most of the "argumentative" stuff that I have written I would say ... a lot of it I wouldn't have had the chance to say all of, and doing it in writing allows me to be more articulate and do it without interruption, but really ... for me that's not true ... the keyboard bravery or whatever they call it ... maybe it is for others though ....

My friends can tell tale upon tale of workplace bullying, grocery store bullying, gaming bullying ... people who are arrogant and not empathetic and unable to apparently distinguish right from wrong ....

For the first time a few weeks ago I had to delete someone I considered an actual friend from my Facebook ... because she was being a bully, to the point that other friends were responding to her ... to the point that I received private messages from people that knew both of us and some that didn't saying how out of line she was ... I had to delete two other people before ... but one of them I met through a game and the other was a girlfriend of a friend and they broke up and she was nasty ... so up until then I had deleted two other people ... neither of which were big "losses" ...

But ... this one was different ... literally someone I had known my whole life, I had always been closer to her sister, but still ... known my whole life ... she played a role in my wedding ... but there she was being outright mean and bullying on my Facebook page ...

I wish I could have given her the benefit of the doubt of naivety, but I knew better, and later was proven right by someone that shared her reaction to my un-friending her ... her gratefulness that I had because she had "called me out" ... she didn't call me out ... she was just a bully ... basically I had said I was excited about having some time when I could have a real life ... it wasn't a depressing post ... in fact I think my original post just said "2 days and counting ... " someone asked

Sweet Charity ...

So a long time ago ... okay, okay like 4 years ago ... when you know I had money to give away ... I used to do just that ... Alyssa had a friend in Kindergarten that didn't have money for the Santa shop, I knew they were struggling, his dad worked road construction and it had been a particularly bad winter ... and they didn't get "business interruption" pay (which I got when I worked retail and the store would be closed for weather or something ... so if he didn't work, he didn't get paid ... I gave the teacher $25 to donate to him for the Santa shop ... and later that night while his mom worked at the local wal-mart I managed to sneak a $100 Visa gift card and $200 in King Soopers gift certificates (half of which were provided by my church) into her car window (which was permanently open because it was broken) ... that was probably my biggest singular act of charity, but I did things like that all the time ...

So, why is it that in the situation where I am now that when people give me charity I feel guilty? I need it ... the karma would say I deserve it ... right?

Back when my son was in the hospital a friend of mine that is more of an acquaintance, but we've actually grown closer since the world of Facebook land has kept us involved in each others lives, well, she surprised me by nominating me in a