An example ... a kid is being bullied at school and tells his mom ... mom calls the teacher and tries to get it all straightened out ... then her son is subjected to more ridicule from more people because he is now a "mama's boy" that needs his mom to fight his fights for him ... the bullying gets worse ... but I believe just because the right action elicited the wrong response, that the right action still has to be taken ...
For the last few months I have been struggling with this ... knowing that if I did the right thing
it would hurt my children ... knowing that the person on the receiving end of what I need to put out there sometimes makes bad decisions and sometimes crosses lines that don't need to be crossed ...
My kids gave me information ... on their own ... a lot of information ... about things going on for about the last year at this point ... when you're a mom ... especially a very involved one ... when someone tells you that your kids are hurt or scared or in a position they don't know how to handle ... you want to fix it ... I have gone back and forth for a long time trying to figure out how to approach it ... how to fix it ... how to do it in a way where the kids won't pay the price ... where the situation they are dealing with won't get worse ... I finally decided there really is no way ...
So ... I stood at a crossroads for a few weeks ... down one path I could watch my kids and this situation self-destruct ... stand at a distance ... not say anything ... and just wait to pick up the pieces ... down the other path I could try to defuse the situation ... save my kids from this self-destruction and hopefully a lot of pain ... but the toll of taking that second path may actually be faster destruction ... I stood at that crossroads examining my options ... trying to figure out what to do ... and in the end I chose to speak up and defend my children ... my babies ... I can tell already they will pay some price ...
I wish the other adult(s) in the picture would understand that I just want to help the situation ... in the words of one of kids I "just want (them) to be as happy when (they're) away from (me) as (they) are when (they're) with me" ... and that's true ... I want them to have completely fulfilled lives, with all the things, places, relationships and learning experiences they can handle ... I want their relationships to be strong with everyone in their lives ... unfortunately I know all too well how what seems like small things can turn into lifelong scars in the time it takes to blink ... I carry lifelong scars from relationships when I was younger ... and I want my kids to grow up as unscathed as possible ... without scars ... I want them to have the best childhood they can have ... with as many good memories as they can fill it with ...
I also know that if scars are created because I did what is right ... that is not my fault ... I can't control other people and their actions and reactions ... but I can control mine ... and I choose to do what is right ...
"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone." ... Rose Kennedy ...
