Giving the Best of Ourselves to Everyone Else ... and the Worst to Those we Love the Most ....

This is either a subject people know about and understand or they don't ... at least to start with ... but maybe those that don't will understand ... at least a little ... after reading this ....

My father was an amazing citizen ... he volunteered as an EMT ... he was on the Search and Rescue Team ... he was even a State Coordinator for the Search and Rescue Team ... he was social, outgoing and even charming to most of the world ... but at home he was reclusive and closed off ... he gave the best of himself to everyone outside of his family ...

I have had friends have experience with this lately ... and I have experienced it myself ... someone is sweet and charming and funny with the rest of the world ... they maintain their temper ... but then when they are around the people that are "closest" to them ... the people that care about them the most ... they turn into almost an entirely different person ...

I've seen touchy-feely people that out in public are touching and hugging everyone around ... go home and not touch their spouse/partner for hours even days after ... I've known people

I'm back ... An Update on Life ...

So it's been a while ... a long while ... and the reasons for that are mostly good ...

Okay ... so my life hasn't completely turned around ... but there is more of a light at the end of the tunnel than there was before ... and I haven't been writing because I have been genuinely busy ...

Now some of my fellow writers will probably find it funny that I have an entire list of blog titles that I put down so I could go back and write the blogs later ... only now

Marriage ... Divorce ... and Friends ...

Lately I've been contemplating my friendships ... past, present, future ... and it got me thinking about some things ....

When my ex-husband and I started dating I had a huge social network ... I had friends from the two high schools I had attended, from college, from several jobs I had worked at ... I had a group of guys I played roller hockey with ... I had friends I worked at the local amusement park with that I hung out with late at night at Denny's and IHOP or just their houses ... I had enough girl friends from various aspects in my life that when we got engaged I could think of more than twelve potential bridesmaids ... I was a social, popular person ... I just was ...

I ran across a picture a few days ago of my ex and I and a group of my friends, from various parts of my life at a Christmas party I hosted two months before he asked me to marry him ... and then I started remembering things ... well, I knew the concept had existed in my life ... but I started remembering the details ... of how I pushed a lot of my friends away ... for various reasons ... but mostly because he was uncomfortable around them ... all my friends from the high school I graduated from were giving me updates on my ex-boyfriend ... the one I was still dating when I graduated from high school and well into my freshman year of college ... my ex-husband hated that ... he really didn't like being reminded I had a past at all ... and now that I have more experience dating people that have pasts ... I understand more where he was

Where's My Yield Sign? ....

I haven't written in sooo long ... and I apologize to those that actually look forward to me posting ... okay maybe nobody does ... maybe you all do ... I don't know ...

But, life has been insanely busy ... I want to know where the yield sign on life is right now ... just let everything kind of slow down a bit ... in March and April I was really busy with spring break and then the start of a new job ...

I am working now at an Alzheimer's Center .... which is both rewarding and extremely hard ... I think I would rather die in pain or slowly lose the use of my physical body than to lose my mind the way my poor residents have ... it is an extremely sad disease ... that nobody should have to live with either from the inside or as a family member from the outside looking in ... I work two 12 hour nights from 6pm to 6am and I do work my butt off for those 24 hours a week ... but I adjusted really quickly to the schedule because when I started the job my kids were with my ex for a few weeks, so I adjusted really quickly to sleeping during the day and being awake at night and

A Political Spew ...

I think that many people are wayyyy too stuck on the labels in politics ... instead of looking at individual issues ... I know people that both hate and love the president that would actually agree with each other on almost every single issue ... but they’re stuck on the label of democrat or republican ... I am neither ... because I balance each issue and politician as they stand alone ... I also am over the name calling, stone throwing, and bullying based on the labels ... if you want to criticize the other side use hard facts ... not rumors .. and not just some derogatory statement ... remember that these people were elected to office ... so the majority of the people wanted them there ... I also find it interesting how people don't understand how the three branches of our government work and blame one branch when another is to blame ... or really all of them ... because it's designed to have checks and balances ... and it does ... I guess all and all I am proud to be an American (especially today) ... and proud of our abilities to be free and make choices ... and that is what we should do ... not just say ... oh he's good or bad based on his political party or some rumor we heard ... we have a right in this country to think for ourselves ... and to vote on that ... to follow any political party blindly is really quite idiotic … regardless of which party you affiliate yourself with …. If you want to call the president (whether Bush or Obama or whatever president present, past or future it happens to be) an idiot or stupid or unpatriotic … be able to back it up … but actually … in a more intelligent manner … why don’t you start with your back up … and not lower yourself to name calling … or to uninformed statements …

I have seen so much lately where the president has been blamed for things he has no control over … and things that are twisted and contorted to a point that they’re nearly unrecognizable …. One of the biggest is that Obama wants to cut military pay … where on earth did anyone get this from? … he vowed not to freeze military pay along with other federal pay (despite heavy protesting from several democratic congressmen) … and he proposed a 1.4% increase in pay which while smaller than usual is in line with the mathematical equation that every president since 1972 has used … with one exception … when Clinton was president and he proposed no pay increase for military … but guess what? Guess who has the real power on this subject? … The legislative branch … not the executive branch … when Clinton proposed no pay raise … congress went